Introduction-and question on self worth

[dandylion_seed]

Hi All

I've been on the forum for a while, but with the discussion group I thought I'd put a question to everyone.
I think for many of us finding that CEN page is a lightbulb moment-somewhere we find other people with the same issues as us. I won't go into my childhood now, and since my father passed away a couple of years ago my relationship with the family has improved massively-though being around them can still catapult me into depression (so I only see them every year or so).

I think one thing CEN leaves us with is a feeling of utter worthlessness, one that is impossible to salve. Taking care of ourselves just does not seem worth the time or energy, and we don't feel worthy of treats (or often even basics).
I know much of what I do would not make sense to most people, whereas I just don't care.
How do you all deal with issues of self worth?
What also brought this to mind now is a total jerk at work (with a capacity for empathy of a small rock) who is always relying on me to help them and put them first started to be even more of a jerk, and judgemental about things that have nothing to do with him; and explaining depression and CEN to someone who does not want to care-but is going to be a jerk anyway is tough (and explaining to someone why you get by on the minimum, and don't spend time putting yourself first is not easy)
How does everyone else cope?

[Admin]

Hi Dandylion, and welcome to the forum. As this is a good question and applicable to everyone, I'll move it to the main discussion forum (just below 'introduce yourself') later today. This forum is just new and is starting to take off. So hopefully we can get some good discussion and views around it. I think we all want to know how best to cope with feelings of emptiness or worthlessness.

Personally, until i find the panacea I've secretly been searching for for years , Ive been going more slowly, and am really building up momentum of feelig and finding the right thoughts about how I see myself, and how I speak to myself.

For years I've been so focused on the negative things (what I perceived to be negative) or the absece of worth. Now I try to focus more on the positive things, eventhe little things. The things that we don't normally think about and take for granted. Like having all my fingers and toes! Like being able to eat for myself, walk, talk and make others smile! All these things we take for granted until they're gone. I also think about the bigger things too. Like being smart, like making a forum ,hehe. I've stopped diminishing the things I do, like instead of saying I was lucky, or everyone's better than me at this, I give myself credit fro the things I do. and it's all genuine. Embedded in that is a big reduction in comparing myself to others. And I'm starting to shift that to finding self worth in my own eyes. To be worthy for what I am, not what I believe I need to be to get approval from others.